How Olivia sees me

I have been cooking up this post for a long time. Almost a year, to be exact. Hopefully you'll think it's worth it.

Last year, when I started working at Episcopal, things were a bit hectic. Not for me at my job, mind you--though that did sometimes happen--but for us as a family. I would get home very tired, especially at the beginning of the school year, when I was newly pregnant. This is how Olivia would encounter me most days: at the end of her day, when she was tired herself. Let's just say that hectic day + tired pregnant mom + tired whining child = a volatile combination. Much yelling resulted.

Which is why when I saw this picture of our family, I could only assume one thing:



Given the smiley-faced joy of Dada, and the dynamic, top position of Bella, I had to assume that the picture of me, with the "scribblescrabbles" obscuring my face in a grand gesture of craziness, was Olivia's honest reflection of her screaming, overwrought Mama.

Months later I asked her about the picture, and she explained it. In fact the crazy nest of crazy on my face was not me screaming, but rather, my hair. Boy, was I relieved.

So when picture #2 came along, I had a context for Olivia choosing a representative body feature to represent me. I'm not sure whether I am encouraged or dismayed by the fact that Daddy is essentially the embodiment of the smiley face, while I tend to be isolated parts. To wit:



Now don't be fooled by the little blue figure at the bottom right. That's Shepard. He seems to be the only person in our family that Olivia represents as a full person. But here's the kicker: what is that thing floating, multicolored and ominous, in the center of this drawing? I'll add that Olivia worked on this piece for *several days," cutting and pasting elements in addition to tricking out the floating central shape.

Answer: it's a breast.

"That's your nipple," she offered, pointing at the purple outcropping.

Given our summer, and how patiently she waited daily for our departure for the pool, for her play date, for the walk up the hill . . . I am not the least bit surprised.

Bears eat meat (a scavenger hunt conversation)

Those of you who have had the pleasure of sharing a roof with Olivia know that she is some kind of early riser. So when we were in the Poconos, I was armed and ready for a morning activity: a lake road scavenger hunt. Well, more like an eye-spy hunt. Either way, we were the only ones out there, I guarantee it. Olivia's squeals--"AN AMERICAN FLAAAG!"--were surely the first thing that many people heard that morning. Certainly the first thing that those barking dogs heard. But that was OK--"barking dog" was on the list, and she earned a bonus for hearing two.

The Green Dinner

Olivia came home from a play date dressed as a fairy. Tinkerbell, to be exact. She had a poufy green dress and magic wand. Since cookery is my best mode at the end of a long day, I went with the "Do you want to eat a green dinner?" move. I added some gloppy Williams Sonoma "food gel" to her eggs, and voila. We discuss what's happening operetta-style, as is only fitting.

Dinner conversation (Shepard)

When Shepard sits on the table (I do mean on, not AT, the table), he often has a thing or two to share--especially after not seeing Mommy all day! Mostly he munches on his fist for sustenance between comments. Behold.

Angry Bird mall wrestling (Olivia wins)

Check this out: Olivia found these Angry Birds in a video store at the mall (they still have those??), and proceeded to wreak havoc on their beaky selves. I think you will agree who emerged as the victor. Dig on the Mall-Musak in the background--perfect backdrop to this epic battle.

Olivia: "What's it like to be a boy?"

August has been chock full of very deep thoughts.

Deep thought 1: "If God were bad, they'd lock him up."
Deep thought 2: "Only naughty people like mosquitos."

But today, the mindbuster happened. It was my favorite yet.

"Mommy, what's it like to be a boy?"
"Well . . . let's see. You would have a penis, so you'd have something hanging in the front. Also, if you were grown up, you would not have boobies."
"No, I mean, what's it like to be a boy inside your head?"

Now if there were ever a question I didn't have an answer for, that was it.

"Hm. I don't know because I've never been a boy. Also, I would imagine that different boys think different things. Probably the best thing you can do is ask daddy, because he is a boy."

(thinking)

"Angry?"

"What? Is it angry inside boys' heads?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think so. I don't know."

(more thinking. brief, flailing foray into some people have girl minds and boy bodies. and vice versa. who knows where my info squirrel is storing that right now. it is sure to haunt me later.)

"I want to be a boy."

"Hm. Why?"

(for some reason I can't remember her answer, but I will sure follow up, gently.)

FASCINATING!

Lamenting the Phillies game cancellation

Olivia loves the Phillies, so when the game got rained out, we expected much sadness. As you'll see here, that's not what happened. She DID get concerned, though, at the prospect that her birthday cake might get rain-cancelled in September.